The Break Up
by hollygwood
Summary: NYADA didn't work out, but Kurt's taken to New York anyway and is enrolled at fashion college. Enter Blaine, scared he's holding his boyfriend back. A messy break up and broken hearts on both sides follows. Based on spoilery images we've seen from S4! Spoilers. One shot. Angst. T. Klaine.


The Break Up – Oneshot, 4000 words.

Hello! Sorry I haven't written for a while, life's been crazy in good ways and bad.

A quick note about Magical Year and The Odds – both will be continued in the next few weeks, with special focus on Magical Year because I want it done by Season 4. So if anyone's still following them, don't give up hope, and I'm sorry!

This oneshot is inspired, obviously, by the god awful spoiler pictures that leaked this week of Kurt and Blaine combined with the episode title spoilers 'The Break Up.' This will be tons of angst and fluff.

Enjoy!

"So do you love it?" Blaine asked, as he and Kurt sat in the cab on the way back from the airport to Kurt's dorms, Kurt having just picked up Blaine from the airport. He was visiting Kurt for four days at college. Kurt smiled, so wide his face looked like it could break.

"Love?" Kurt raised an eyebrow. "I adore it. It's so open, so free, so..."

"So not like Lima?" Blaine asked, and Kurt laughed.

"Pretty much. It's the anti-Lima." Kurt paused. "I mean it's not perfect, nowhere is. It's dirty and expensive and crowded and people can be rude and getting a cab is a nightmare and the crime rate is still pretty high, but I love it. I can't explain why but I love it. Those things just don't matter, not when you're here."

Blaine smiled and linked his hand through Kurt's. "I'm glad you're happy."

The next few hours consisted of Blaine checking into the cheap hotel he'd booked and being introduced to Kurt's friends, who convinced the two boys to meet them at a bar that night so they could all hang out and get to know Blaine better.

"Oh don't look now Kurt but seven o clock, guy with a waistcoat definitely checking you out." Eve, one of Kurt's friends, a spiky haired girl said with a wink, and Kurt's cheeks turned faintly red as he turned subtly to see the guy with the dark blonde Bieber cut in the charcoal waistcoat watching Kurt with a hungry look in his eyes.

"I'm not interested." Kurt snapped, as Blaine glanced over at the man with a painful feeling in his stomach. There was no doubt the man was interested in Kurt, and he definitely wasn't the first person Blaine had seen in New York to give Kurt that look, and he'd only been here a few hours.

"I'm not interested." Kurt said in a lower voice to Blaine, squeezing his leg gently. Blaine didn't reply, just smiled back at Kurt weakly as Kurt went to buy the next round of drinks.

Blaine watched his boyfriend strut up to the bar and lean against it, sighing. It should have been illegal to look that good in a pair of jeans, really.

"So how many tonight do you reckon?" Blaine turned back to the conversation around the table to where Eve was speaking.

"How many what?" Blaine asked, his brow crinkling.

"How many guys numbers will Kurt get." She grinned, her eyes sparkling. Blaine felt his heart begin to hammer. "Oh don't worry, he never calls them. He gets embarrassed and tells them he has a boyfriend and never takes them up on it, but it's just funny to see him get so much attention. He's a gorgeous thing but you'd think no one had ever told him that before, he always seems so surprised that every gay in ten metres wants to chat him up."

Blaine frowned again and looked down at the table, tracing his fingers over the sticky mahogany. He couldn't deny that things had felt...off between Kurt and himself since he'd been in New York. Almost like he was intruding in this whole new life Kurt was carving. In a way he was, and Blaine could feel his chest tightening the more he thought about it.

He thought about all the attention Kurt was getting. The thought made his insides curl with jealousy, but the fact that Kurt was surprised at the attention made him sad. Did he not make Kurt feel gorgeous, and special? Was that the distance or a problem they had as a couple?

From that moment on, all evening Blaine began to see ways in which Kurt wasn't living to the full in New York because of him. When his friends said they were heading to a club from the bar, Kurt said he didn't want to go. When they'd said goodbye and he and Kurt were heading back to the dorms, he asked Kurt why he hadn't gone.

Kurt sighed. "I just didn't want to, Blaine. It's not a place you go with your other half. Whenever we go there guys are just so touchy. It's awkward."

Blaine nodded but stayed silent, the feeling of discomfort growing ever larger in his chest, and when they were lying in the hotel bed that night, Blaine held Kurt close to him, his heart thumping with worry.

He began to plan exactly what he knew he had to do, no matter how much it hurt. So just for that night, he clung to Kurt hard and enjoyed what he had, because he knew come the next night, he'd be sleeping alone.

The next night the two were having dinner in a restaurant when Kurt realised Blaine was acting strangely. "What's bugging you?" Kurt asked, reaching over the table and covering Blaine's hand with his. Blaine sighed and glanced down at their hands clasped together, the hands that had always fitted together so perfectly, right from the very moment he first met Kurt.

He bit his lip and pulled his hand away before picking up his knife and fork and carrying on with the meal he couldn't be less hungry for.

"We'll talk afterwards." He forced out, looking down at his food to avoid looking at Kurt's worried expression.

"Please tell me what's wrong Blaine you're scaring me." Kurt said, grinding to a halt after they'd walked around the park for a few minutes after their meal. Blaine sighed and stopped walking too, before gently cupping Kurt's face in his hands and planting a soft kiss on his forehead.

"I'm sorry." He whispered into the soft, pale skin of Kurt's forehead. "Please just try and understand why I'm doing this."

"Doing what?" Kurt pulled away from Blaine's embrace, his eyes fearful. "What is it, Blaine?"

Blaine took a deep breath and said the hardest words he'd ever had to say. "We need to break up."

Kurt's already pale skin whitened, he swallowed and his eyes began to well up. He didn't look that shocked though, which made Blaine think he'd had an idea of what was eating Blaine during the day and the meal.

"Please. Don't." They were the first words to fall out of Kurt's lips, and Blaine took a deep breath and told himself to stand his ground. Kurt had always been his weak spot, he'd always found it borderline impossible to say no to him, but he had to stand firm this time. For both of them.

"I have to. You'll understand soon that this is the right thing for us." Blaine replied, his voice thick with unshed tears. He wanted to cry and scream and breakdown, the sadness felt like it was about to explode out of him but he held himself rigid, telling himself he could lose it later.

Kurt didn't have the same concerns, tears were spurting down his cheeks as he stared at Blaine with hurt, and Blaine couldn't believe he'd caused that pain. He didn't make Kurt hurt, he fixed him up when someone else had, this felt like the worst thing he'd ever done in the world.

"You can't just break up with me!" Kurt snapped, "this isn't right, don't lie! I don't understand why you think this is a good idea?" His hurt fast turned to anger. "Why don't you love me anymore?" He sobbed eventually.

"Oh god." Blaine said softly, reaching up to Kurt's cheek and placing his hand on it once more. But Kurt swatted it away, and Blaine ran said hand over his face. "Don't ever say that, Kurt. I do still love you. So much.

"I just..." Blaine swallowed hard, figuring out how best to get the words out. "I want you to be happy. You make me the happiest person alive, don't ever doubt that Kurt, but...when you're not around I miss you so much, all the time. I can't concentrate because I miss you so much. I know you must feel that too. We shouldn't have to be miserable." He took a deep breath and said the words he knew would feel like ripping his heart out. "And I want you to get the full college experience. I want you to have everything New York and college and Vogue can offer you. That includes new experiences with men. Men who aren't me." As he spoke the words, Blaine felt something in his chest spasm, and he wondered dimly if this was what heartbreak was.

Kurt sniffed, his sobs radiating through the park. He rubbed his eyes. "I don't want anyone else! There are over eight million people in New York, god knows how many of them are gay men, and you know what? I don't want any of them! I don't want to go near any of the six billion people on this earth." Kurt ran a hand through his hair. "I just want you. I don't know how to be without you." Kurt moved forward and began to grab Blaine, his hands, his neck, his waist, trying to hold onto him and not let him go, but Blaine pushed him away gently.

"I don't know how to be without you, either." Blaine whispered. "But we have to try. Please trust me. I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't think it would benefit both of us."

"How the fuck is this a good thing?" Kurt yelled, "THIS is a huge mistake, Blaine."

Blaine took a step away from Kurt.

"Please." Kurt whispered once more.

"I'm sorry." Blaine replied quietly, looking at the dirty ground beneath them, and when he looked up, Kurt had gone.

And every fibre of Blaine's being was telling him to run after Kurt, to stop him from leaving, to tell him he was out of his mind to do this, that he was sorry, to kiss him and tell him it would all be ok.

But he didn't do that.

He stayed by himself, his arms wrapped around himself, as he finally gave way to the tears that had been threatening since way before dinner. He sobbed, thinking back to all the good things he and Kurt shared, small things like dinners with Burt and Carole, doing their homework side by side, coffee in the morning and hot milk at night. He thought of how no one could make him laugh until his sides hurt like Kurt could, of waking up in the morning with Kurt's legs entwined with his, of holding hands and kissing. Of making love and never feeling more alive than when he was with Kurt.

He couldn't help but think that he'd made the biggest fucking fuck up of his entire life, which is really saying something, and all he wanted to do was find Kurt and make things go back to the way they were, only they can't go back to the way they were because Kurt's in New York and he's stuck in fucking Lima thanks to a group of bullies, a punctured lung and a missed school year. He couldn't run back and tell Kurt he's sorry, that of course they're not breaking up, because he had to set Kurt free, no matter how much it hurt, and he knew Kurt would thank him in the long run.

He didn''t know how he made it back to his hotel but made it back he did and he re-booked his flight for first thing the next morning and then he just sat back and let the pain take him.

Kurt tries, he really does. After four days of not getting out of bed and eating about three saltine crackers and a bunch of grapes, Luke makes him get up, get a shower and eat a meal. He only manages about two mouthfuls of the sandwich but Luke takes that as a mini victory and insists they go out to a bar that night. Kurt agrees because he's only known Luke a couple of weeks but it's enough to know he has the wills of a male Rachel Berry and that he won't take no for an answer.

Just before he starts getting ready Kurt glances at his phone, though his interest is limited. It's the usual angry texts from his friends, wondering why he and Blaine have broken up, a text from his dad checking up on him, something from a friend on his course and a text from Eve, but he doesn't care, not about any of them, because the only person he wants to talk to hasn't called, and it hurts.

So even though all he wants to do is lie in his bed and pretend he doesn't exist, he does what Luke says and pulls together an outfit and does his hair and joins his friends at a bar not far from their dorms and orders a drink and can't help but just look at all the guys around him and think how they all don't match up to Blaine. How that guy has gelled curly hair a bit like Blaine, but his hairline doesn't dip like Blaine's and curls don't escape down to his ears like Blaine's and he bets where his hair finishes at the nape of his neck doesn't smell as good as Blaine's.

But Kurt tries, because after all that's what Blaine wanted and even though all Kurt wants to do is a) lie in bed and never get up or b) use his emergency credit card to get on the next flight back to Allen County, he can't. Because he knows Blaine and he loves Blaine and he knows Blaine loves him so there must be reason in this even if Kurt can't see it, so he takes a deep breath and begins to talk to other people.

And he's talking to this guy and he asks Kurt if he's got a boyfriend and he's about to say yes, and then he remembers. He flashes back to all the times over his first few weeks in New York and guys had asked him if he was single and he'd grin and say no unfortunately, would you like to see a picture of my boyfriend? And he wouldn't give them a chance to say no, he'd just pull out his wallet and shows them the photo-booth picture of Blaine he stole from Blaine's pile of stuff on his desk because it wasn't good enough to be on his new passport because Kurt was just outside the photo-booth making him laugh and putting him off.

In the photo Blaine is on the verge of laughing, his smile wide, his eyes crinkled. The photo was originally attached to a strip of four but two got lost so there's only one other photo below it that was taken just a few seconds after, where Blaine had turned to look at Kurt, obviously to scold him for making him laugh. But there's no anger on his face. He just...he's looking at Kurt like he's seeing something amazing, something wonderful he didn't know existed. He's looking at Kurt like he's the most beautiful person in the world. He's never looked so in love, and it's Kurt's favourite picture, the one he looks at most nights.

"So? Boyfriend?" The guy prompts, and Kurt is jolted back to the present with a thump.

"N-no. No boyfriend." He mumbles through numb lips, and he sees the shine in the other man's eyes. He wants Kurt, and even though Kurt hates to admit it, if this had happened when he was with Blaine he'd feel a flash of disappointment because this man is attractive, very attractive, with ice blue eyes and blonde hair and he wants Kurt! Kurt has never known the feeling of being wanted before, has only ever known hatred and disdain and a closeted jock in a locker room and the one person who saw him when no one else did. But now he's single and this is what the break up is for so why does he want to get as far away from this blonde haired blue eyes man as he can? Why does he feel like he might throw up?

Suddenly he's leaving, getting up from the table and almost upsetting their drinks in his haste. He throws a ten dollar note on the table and mumbles a garbled apology to the blonde guy, who looks confused but who is already moving on and eyeing the guy with the eyebrow piercing at the next table, and Kurt is grabbing his coat and leaving, because he needs to get out, the air in here is stifling.

He pushes open the door and he's out in the cold air of New York in October and he breathes in and out and leans against the wall of the bar and pulls at his hair hard enough to make his eyes water.

He stands there for a while getting his breath and rubbing at his chest because his heart just hurts so much, it hasn't stopped hurting since Blaine left and then he fumbles in his messenger bag and pulls out his wallet and the picture he was thinking about.

There it is, Blaine's face. He ignores the first picture and just looks at the one where Blaine is looking at him and he leans his head back and lets the tears run down his cheeks and wonders if this pain will ever, ever go away.

Kurt lasts nineteen days before he realises what he needs to do. He realises he can't deal with this anymore, that nothing has become any clearer in nineteen days, that it's just become more painful. He's tired of being miserable.

He throws his passport, wallet and a change of clothes into his messenger bag and scribbles a note to Luke, his roommate before running out of his dorms and hails a cab faster than he ever has before. While he's in the back of the cab he rings the airline and books himself on the five pm flight to Allen County, and then he doesn't have time to think about what he's doing because he's rushing through the airport, and through security, and it's only when he's sitting in the tiny plane waiting to take off, that he can actually breathe and think semi clearly.

He's going to see his Blaine.

It's pouring with rain when Kurt arrives in Lima and gets a cab from the airport to his house, and when he gets to his home he pays the cab driver and jumps out, running to the door and shoving his key in the lock. He just wants to dump his bag and then he's going straight to Blaine's.

He runs in and throws his bag into his room and grabs his car keys and as he's running to the front door his dad comes out of the kitchen, a dish rag thrown over his shoulder, and he's smiling at his son.

"Dad." Kurt says breathlessly, running over to his father and giving him a hug. Burt hugs him back then lets go of him. He knows all about the break up, knows how miserable both his son and Blaine have been.

"Go fix things." Burt says simply, and Kurt smiles, though he's feeling vaguely tearful and heads back out of the front door. He runs to his car and starts the engine and all the way to Westerville he feels sick and shaky and excited and scared but he knows this is right, because the closer he gets to Blaine the less his chest hurts.

He climbs out of his car, and the rain is torrential right now, he's soaking wet from the short run from his car to Blaine's front door but he doesn't care, he just needs Blaine right now.

He rings the bell, and after a minute it opens, and Blaine is standing there.

Blaine looks rough, his eyes are red and deeply shadowed and his hair needs cutting and he hasn't shaved in days and he's wearing a badly fitting white Henley and rolled up jeans and his feet are bare and he looks exhausted but Kurt doesn't think he's ever seen anyone or anything more beautiful in all his life. He can't believe he ever even looked twice at another man.

"Kurt," Blaine's voice is hoarse and shocked. "What are you doing here?"

"I used my emergency credit card to fly here." Kurt says breathlessly.

"But I said-"

"I know what you said, Blaine." Kurt swallows hard, the rain still falling down and soaking him. "But I can't do it. I can't be without you."

"But college-"

"College is fantastic, Blaine. I'm so happy there, but I don't need to be having sex with every guy on my course to enjoy myself."

"I don't want to hold you back." Blaine tries to keep his voice even but Kurt can hear the hope in the sentence. "I did it because I...because I need to know you're fulfilled and happy at college."

"Blaine," Kurt swallows. "You don't hold me back. You've never held me back, you've never done anything other than push me forward, make me the best version of me I can be." He takes a deep breath. "Maybe at first I felt bitter because I had all these guys flirting with me and I couldn't do anything about it because of you," Kurt winces as he sees the pain in Blaine's eyes that he tries to mask at that, "but then you broke up with me...it was like the bottom had fallen out of my world, Blaine. I love you. I love you so much. You are the only man I want in my bed, the only lips I want on mine, the only arms I feel safe in."

"I love you too." Blaine whispered. "I love you so much, care about you so much and...that was why I did it. I need to know you're happy with me and only me. Completely, totally happy. Like I am with you."

"Baby I am." Kurt says softly. "I am."

They both stand for a minute looking at each other and then they're kissing, Blaine is out of the house and standing in the rain with Kurt and they're kissing like they've never kissed before. It's feverish and desperate and needy.

"It was never over." Kurt whispered through the rain and his tears, running a hand through Blaine's soaking curls. "I never stopped being with you, not really. And I definitely never stopped loving you."

"I love you too. I was so miserable without you." Blaine replies, hands on Kurt's shivering, slim waist. "I'm never going through anything like that again, not if I can help it."

"Don't worry." Kurt whispered softly, his voice almost swallowed by the noise of the rain. "We're Kurt and Blaine. Forever."

Meanwhile, in New York city, Luke walks into the dorm and sees a hastily scribbled note left on his desk:

_Luke, _

_I've gone to Lima. I need to find him and I need to hold him and I need him back. _

_See you when I'm back. Thank you for everything. _

_Kurt x_

Luke smiles as he picks up the note and reads it.

"Finally."


End file.
